We all know people who have moved to warmer climates and call you when the Weather Channel reports some awful storm in Michigan. They gloat and tell you "it's bright and sunny here, sorry you're having 18" of snow and sleet," or "I'll be playing 18 holes this afternoon" accompanied by an underlying giggle or sarcastic tone. It makes you want to strangle them, doesn't it?

I admit it. I did it, too! I genuinely feel for people who are exposed to mother nature's storms in the shape of floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, droughts, earthquakes, you name it. In Phoenix, we don't have "weather" we just have HEAT.

And it's hot.

You'd think I be used to it by now. After 35 years of life in Detroit I moved to Phoenix 8 years ago. No, I don't have any regrets but I'm amazed that I still make comparisons to my hometown and state. I catch myself bragging how advanced Detroit is in the way of freeways, cultural diversity, industry, restaurants, night-life, and general stuff-to-do. "In DETROIT, we did it this way…" I'll start to say, then I catch myself. I miss my hometown in many aspects and it's still taking some time to accept that in Phoenix everyone is from "somewhere else," mostly "back East" and that everyone in public office brings his or her own opinion about how a city should be run. Hence, you have no one making decisions, no sense of "history" to go on and no sense of continuity or even getting along with one's neighbors.

To those of you who have never been to the desert, it's quite a shock in many ways, but most noticeably environmentally. Let me tell you a bit about living here...

First of all, in the winter months, it paradise. No doubt about it. I've never seen it dip below freezing in winter and the highs are usually around 70 degrees. The days are incredibly short, but it's ok. The desert cools down at dusk, so you'd better be prepared with layered clothes. It DROPS fast! It can go from 70-40 in just a few hours and if you're out for dinner, take a jacket with you. They tell me that this phenomenon is due to the dryness of the air and the sand not being dense enough to hold the heat. Aside from that, from mid-October to mid April it's positively wonderful…except for tourists clogging up the streets, but we love you anyway.

Next the summers can be, well, in a word, ghastly. After our 6 weeks of winter (where the temp reaches a high of about 60° and low of about 40°) we live for winter here. Summer starts in May. May 15 is the average day of the first of our 100° days. It stays over 100° until October. No kidding. Yup, dry heat and all, 100° is still rather warm. Heck, I'm almost a born-again-native here, I tell people "aw… it's not really HOT until it's over 110°!" Then, even jumping in the pool (water temperature 99° degrees) is not even refreshing. But hey, summer is the price we pay for winter, like in Michigan you endure snow and cold to enjoy the spring and summer and glorious fall. And like Michiganians, some Arizonans actually enjoy the season.

Except when your windshield wipers melt into your windshield or your battery explodes. Not fun.

I can't remember clouds very well. We have over 300 days of clear blue sunshine skies. Great for those people suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. When it IS cloudy, I find myself anticipating a good-old Midwestern thunderstorm. Yeah, bring on the thunder, lightning and the sound of rain on my roof. Has that happened this year? I think once or twice.

We recently traveled to New Orleans where it rained each day of our 4-day trip. The first day was great; we played in the rain, stomped in puddles and even "forgot" our umbrellas just to feel rain on our skin. Then it got tedious. Always dripping wet, always having to wipe off glasses, always feeling yucky. I'm not used to humidity anymore.

You see in Phoenix, you sweat, but you don't know it. You can feel your body undergoing the process of sweating, but the moisture evaporates so quickly from your skin that no sweat actually develops. It's like the atmosphere sucks the water right out of your body. And that's why you take a water bottle with you everywhere - in the car, in the shopping center, on a walk. You have to make sure you don't dehydrate. They even passed a law here that no restaurant can refuse anyone a glass of water for any reason. It's a matter of life and death sometimes.

The evaporative cooling effect is perhaps the hardest for non-Arizonans to fathom. Last year the air temperature was over 110° (hot even by my standards), probably around 116°. I went into my pool in the backyard, whose thermometer read almost 100°. Since that is only a 16° difference, it doesn't sound very refreshing, and it's really not. After about 20 minutes or so I got out of the pool and immediately FROZE! I looked at the outdoor thermometer - hovering at 115/116°. Why am I shivering and my teeth chattering? What is going on here? I used to shovel snow in my driveway in Detroit at 3 am so the piles wouldn't be so high at 6am when I had to shovel again to get to work - what has happened to me???

Well, it seems since the air is so dry (humidity around 4% in the summer) the moisture on your skin evaporates very fast and takes all the heat with it. It's alarming. But hey, that's life in the desert. On the flip side, it's great to have laundry dry on the line outside quicker than in the dryer!

So if you're ever out here on vacation, (I recommend October through April) bring your water bottle, your sunglasses and for goodness sakes leave the snow shovel at home!

Best regards from the Valley of the Sun